The Power of Choice vs. Expectations

Good evening, Dear Reader(s). I'm trying to acclimate myself to the college schedule by writing this really late. Don't worry, I'll write my posts during the day once classes actually start.

I want to consider Choice vs. Expectations. This may be similar with the previous post of Predestination, but then again, it may be entirely different. That remains to be seen. However, I would like to start with a brief personal history: I am a different person. Or so I am told.

As long as I can remember, "being myself" has always set me apart from my peers. I like "different" things, I have a "different" background history, I have a "different" perspective on life. To me, being "different" is normal, in every unimpressive sense of the word. However, it is when I try to be different that I blend in with those around me.

Why is this?

Is it because so many people are trying to be different that they all end up being the same?

While in Grecia, Costa Rica, my host mom and her best friend had a Bible study and prayer time, during which they laid hands on me and prayed for me. After they had finished praying, the best friend looked at me and said that although she didn't know me, she knew that I would be a different person upon returning to my homeland. She told me that people who knew me before I came would marvel at my change.

I have no problem with either of those women; Neither do I have a problem with such a statement. However, I have heard proclamations like these made to me more times than I care to count. Many people tell me that I will go far in life, that I'll be successful, that I will change many things.

My issue is not with the people; one can always expect the old people at church to want to see me do well in life. My issue is with the expectation. By whose standards is "far in life" measured? Likewise, to whom will I be considered "successful", and who will mark my "changes"? The people-pleaser/obedience complex in me tries once again to usurp my independent choice by making me feel the absolutely overwhelming need to obey those proclamations so the people will think highly of me.

But thus begs the obvious question--How do I "go far in life"??? And, on top of that, what is needed to "be successful" or to "make changes"??

A very good friend of mine that I had the fortune of meeting on the semester abroad, told me that I was overthinking things too much. Sigh. I tend to do that a lot as well.

If I am worried about my Power of Choice, it still remains with me. I have to remember that these well-wishes are merely that, wishes. Suggestions. Old teachers expect me to use my talents to their fullest capacity, but cannot force me to do so otherwise, should I refuse. And to be perfectly honest, I should listen to others who have passed this part of their life already. They have many bits of advice of things they wish they would have done at my age, or things they should have avoided. I appreciate the help.

This post is the first of my pre-return-to-school jitters. School starts for me much later than most of my friends, so while they leave to attend classes, I stay here wondering if I have changed, and how much. Mostly, I wonder what my personal change will incite in others.

Dear Reader, it is late, and this is all my tired brain can comprehend at the moment. So, for now, I bid you good night because this post is long enough.

The Power of Choice vs. "Predestination"

So, I put Predestination in quotes because I feel that there are many views of predestination out there, and I wanted a blanket term...

Some people believe that Predestination means that regardless of what we do, it has already been pre-recorded and filed away. In cases of after-life/soul salvation, it can mean that only a certain number of people have been called to "fill" heaven. Predestination can also mean that we, as humans, are mere puppets, never quite being in control of anything and following the course of our fate, much like a plastic bag floats on the current of a river. There are many different views to be taken into account. Can all of them be essentially right? Could only one of them be essentially right?

Who knows? I surely don't. And to be honest, why should I question that? I'll never discover the answer until either I find that I'm right, or I find that I'm wrong. There is no possible way to be sure that Predestination is or is not the right thing ahead of Death.

Continuing on the topic of the Power of Choice, I would like to point out (as I have done in the past several times) that we CHOOSE. This said, I must be clear that I find total Predestination a little hard to stomach. Maybe I'm an optimist--wait, who am I kidding? Of course I'm an optimist!!--but the fact that I make a Choice causes me to think that perhaps Predestination is like gravity: it can be bent.

If by the term Predestination, we mean that all of any given human's actions have already been pre-determined, then we must conclude that any given human has no choice over his actions that have already been forseen; he is merely following his Fate.

However, if we allow that any given human has the ability to take his situation/mood/happenstance into account and choose how he will act/react to it, then we must conclude that any given human also has the ability to control some small part of his life.

Therefore, Predestination could be true so long as it allows for Choice. In my opinion, anyway.

In direct relation to views of Faith, it makes sense that any Being who created a universe would invariably know all about the universe, its inhabitants, their nature, and their choices. Simply put: Even though God knows how I will act/react to any situation/mood/happenstance, he still gives me the Choice to act/react that way. I do not have to act any certain way. I can Choose it for myself. The idea that God already knows my action does not mean that I have no control over it.

Think of Greek legends and myths, for example. There are many legends where a prophecy was made to one or more of the main characters, who (upon hearing this prophecy) interpret it in their own way and act/react accordingly. The prophecies come true because the character was seeking to avoid or help or whatever. Had the main character chosen to act differently, would the prophecy still have come true? Maybe it still would have. The best example I have of this topic is a famous Greek tragedy called Oedipus Rex, to which I have posted the link here. Long story short, the King and the Queen have a son born to them, so they take the son to an oracle so she can tell them the son's future. The oracle predicts that the son (Oedipus) will grow up to kill his father and marry his mother. In fear the king and queen send Oedipus to live with a poor family and forbid contact with him. Oedipus grows up not knowing his real parents. He leads a revolt with the people against the king and queen, and upon victory, kills the king and takes the queen for his wife. He finds out later, though, that it is his mother he has just married. Which is disgusting. But the motif is clear: Fate vs. Freewill. Was Oedipus required to kill the king and marry the queen? That depends on the context: as an overthrower of the established government, yes, this was a very common thing to do. However, if he had known his true identity, one can surmise that he would not have killed the king and married the queen, already knowing them to be his father and mother. He was even made aware of his prophecy foretold at his birth, and believing his adopted parents to be his true parents, moved away so as not to fulfill this prophecy.

What a thought, huh? The tale of Oedipus Rex shows that even though Oedipus tried to fight against what was his Fate, he was still slave to it. He even made choices that contributed to the fulfillment of such a prophecy. In the end, he couldn't escape himself.

Maybe stuff is just going to happen. And maybe by trying to make my own choices I contribute to that which I cannot control. However, I still can make choices, even if they have a hand in my Fate.

And with that, I take my leave because this post is long enough.

The Power of Choice vs. Influence

Good evening, Dear Reader. I would like to make a case both for and against Influence as it interacts with my newfound Power of Choice.

For example: Obviously, the Influence of other people in my life will have a direct effect on my choices. However, others' Influence should not be used as a scapegoat for my personal choices. The Power of Choice remains with me, and cannot be parted from me thus.

Way back in second grade, I remember it was popular to say "The Devil made me do it," in normal, everyday conversation of...well, second-graders.

"Johnny, why did you chase Amy?"

"The Devil made me do it!"

In hindsight, because we were young enough not to know too many swear words or curses, blaming an invisible object deflected responsibility from ourselves (especially when we weren't sure the type of attention we would receive for an action). Besides, blaming the Devil was certainly tantamount to actually cussing, therefore, we all felt very much grown up.

Truth be told, Dear Reader, I've often disliked the Power of Choice because it means if I am wrong, it will be on my head. I don't like to be wrong much. Hence the dislike. But, I don't have to let others Influence how I will choose. I can, but I don't have to.

I've realized lately how much my taste in music has been Influenced this summer, what with spending time with my best friend, with my godmother, and at the radio station. I now recognize at least one hundred new songs that I didn't know this time last year. What is it about music, that it can make and break people all over the world?? Does the music I listen to have a direct Influence on how I Choose to dress myself? how I Choose to speak? how I Choose to act? how I Choose to live? Some people think yes; it has often been promoted by these people how suicidal teenagers will kill themselves after blaring music with suggestive lyrics. Unfortunately, I have heard far too often this same story, and how the musicians of such lyrics should be ashamed of themselves for introducing these ideas at all.

Personally, I don't think such lyrics should be made public because they are suggestive. But at the same time, I know that those lyrics sell. Friends who listen to this type of music tell me that the artist is "expressing what I feel" through the song. Regardless, it remains the sole Choice of the teenager what he will do with the suggestions he is given in any type of music to which he listens. Especially when he tells me that he prefers to "just listen to the music." This is a mindless choice. Mindless in this sense meaning that Teenager Bob refuses to use his own grey matter, but a choice nonetheless.

In the same way, Influence (especially in music) can be a positive thing! How many times have I heard people say that they "love this song" on the radio because it makes their day better? And it is Influence that is single-handedly responsible for personality/behavioral changes in recovering addicts of various vices!

There is an Aesop's Fable about a crane and a flock of other birds. The Crane is a nice bird, and the Farmer and his family like the bird and tell him he is welcome to their house anytime. But the flock of Birds are unkind and destroy the Farmer's crops and his fishing net. The other Birds tell the Crane he can be in their group, and the Crane reluctantly agrees, and helps the Birds destroy crops and farming tools. The Farmer goes out to throw a net on the mischief-makers, and catches the Crane in the net. The Crane tries to plead his way out, but the Farmer tells the Crane sadly that he is the company he keeps.

It is up to the Crane to Choose how to behave: accept the kindness and friendship of a respected Farmer, or gain the acceptance and camaraderie of his peers who want nothing but trouble for others.

In short, the Devil can't make me do a thing I don't already choose to do. I can make my own choices and even choosing not to act is an act in itself.

Good night, Dear Reader. I hope you get a restful sleep tonight.

The Power of Choice

My dear friends, family, acquaintances, the occasional web-surfer; YOU, Dear Reader,

I would like to write on a very perplexing subject. I wanted to write this on my actual birthday, but what with activities and surprises...well, I'm sure you understand. I have recently come of age. And so the obvious question: What do I choose as my lifestyle?

I've had many mixed reviews over the course of my birthday, some urging me to try alcohol and such while others warn me against it. Some tell me that these were the best years of their lives, while others caution me about having too much fun. It would be easy to say I would rather choose the path straight down the middle, but then it begs the question: where is the middle? However, this is my time to choose; the Power of Choice stays with me.

What a funny thing Choice is. We can often dress it up to look as though we had nothing to do with it. It still remains our Choice. Right now, I feel that there are so many Choices, but my mom assures me the most pressing to me at this moment will all dissipate in a few years, only to be replaced with other choices.

Sometimes, I hate choices. I dislike that either way I choose, I may let someone down, or lower their expectations of me. I'm a people-pleaser. However, I'm learning more and more that as infrequently as I make choices for myself, it allows someone else to take over a little part of my life. Perhaps, if I feel pressured in any way at all, it's because I've let so many other people have a say in what I do. If I don't take responsibility for my actions, then someone else will be blamed for them. Why should I surrender my entire life over to other people just to avoid making choices??

The greatest thing about turning 21 is that I am no longer limited to certain things because of my age. If I am ever out with friends, I can take responsibility for my actions in choosing to accept a drink, or choosing to deny it. For the most part, I will enjoy knowing I can choose whichever option I want. I have that power, that Choice.

I say it is a Power; well, it is! And yet, think of all the choices I have made in a day without giving them a second thought! Some people try to use other "influencing" factors to get out of making even the smallest choices, while others will use (or sometimes, overuse) those same influencing factors to get what they want out of life.

Here's what I see about choice: depending on the day, the hour, and general daily energy of a person, Choice is one part logic to two parts emotion, to one part reflex. Even the most logical person has some hidden meaning behind his decision, especially if the deciding factor triggers a past triumph or failure. Equally, in decision-making, emotion and reflex are almost completely attached to one another, and thus vary the most in this equation.

I have the Power, the Power to Choose. No one can tell me what I will choose. They can tell me how they would choose, and they can tell what they think I should choose, but I still actually choose in the end. What a gift!

I will write more on this later because this post is long enough!

Good night!