Luck, and the lack thereof

Hello again, Dear Readers!

Have you ever found you are luckiest at your most unlucky? When everything goes wrong, but--for whatever reason--turns in your best favor at the culmination of unluckiness?

The strangest thing about "finding the silver lining" as they say, is not so much the grey-ness of the clouds, the looming forbearance, or even the rain puddles; it's the "finding" that's so strange. Consider: If the silver lining is invisible/ignored by all except those who seek it, so then are good details lost in a sea of unlucky sequence by all except those who choose to find it.

It is not unknown that I think happiness a choice--how else does one keep faith and fortitude when there is none to be had? He must choose to have faith, and choose to stay strong!--and therefore is completely independent of luck, or the lack thereof.

If I have an "off" day, then I am unlucky.

If I am unlucky, then my best efforts will be in vain.

If my best efforts are in vain, then I have cause to be unhappy.

If I have cause to be unhappy, I have no reason for "silver lining".

Notice I said "cause" not "right" to be unhappy. However:

If I look for silver lining, then I have hope.

If I have hope, my failures won't seem so bad.

If my failures don't seem so bad, I have cause to be happy.

Here is a list of my Silver Linings for the day:

1) Class schedule a mess: at least I'm still in school!

2) I straightened my hair today, so of course, it rained

3) I dressed up today, it still rained

4) I wore my glasses today. It rained.

5) I rode my bike. Rain.

6) I came back to my room, and despite the rain, I had a good laugh with my roommates about the Michigan weather before I wrote this post.

The funny thing is, it's not so bad that I had to practically change my outfit because I was soaked through--in fact, it made me laugh. Here I was, wearing my glasses, on my bicycle, with newly straightened hair and all dressed up, in the middle of a torrential downpour... What a sight I must have been! When I finally caught a mirror, the reflection reminded me of a wet cat. Cats don't like wet.

Why should I worry about the weather? Why should I stress about things beyond my control? I shouldn't. That's the plain and simple of it. I shouldn't.

Have a stress-free Thursday, Dear Reader!

STRESS!!

Hello again, Dear Reader. I hope you are doing well.

As for myself, I am caught between everyone else's schedules, and in danger of severe breaking, in part due to bending over backwards. I'm not the best planner. That's just the simple truth of it. I can plan my hour; I can plan my day; I can plan my month, but I just cannot plan several months or a year in advance. The organizational complexities of such an endeavor elude me. And yet, I try very hard to plan things in advance, knowing that no matter the backups, my plans will blow up in my face.

Sigh.

I want so much for this year to go well. I won't even ask for smoothly, or quickly. I just want it to go well. I want to get my credits in and graduate from college. I want to set up a system for our student publication that can be executed after my graduation, and most of all, I want to get married. I want to be able to have a wedding on a budget, but still feel like I wasn't missing out. It's only a day, after all, but the effects will last for my lifetime.

I want to spend time with people I may never see again.

I want to help a friend who needs it.

I want to learn from a stranger what he thinks about the world.

I want to write a book.

I want to write more poetry.

And here I am, stuck between schedules, and government grants, and too few credits, and student bills.

How hard it is to have such big dreams, and so little movement. To know and see clearly what I want, only to turn down the path of what I must do.

I always survive. I'm tired of surviving; I want to live.

Dear Reader, are you shackled too? Perhaps if you can make it, we both can make it. It is better to learn our weaknesses and deal with them, than turning away and hiding. Carpe diem!

May you overcome,

Have a productive Wednesday.